Life After Suicide | High Functioning Depression | xuất từ project sang excel

After losing Isaiah to suicide I have found myself wanting to hide my true feelings to others even though I talk about it on youtube. I talk about the ways I lie or hide the truth to others about my depression and mental health., xuất từ project sang excel.

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  • Hi Rachel, I really appreciate this channel and really relate to your description of your depression and the feeling of feeling like your depression doesn’t match others. You come across as incredibly strong and what your doing, breaking down the stigma, is so sick and I’m really thankful. Keep going, I really really hope that your mental health improves overtime, thanks again 🙏

  • Wow. I love how you’re being vulnerable and talking about your mental health .
    I’m going to be starting posting videos about my my faith, mental health, and other things and am trying to find others who have a similar passion/mission.
    I’d love to connect.

  • Depression I feel that this a disconnecting from self!A loss from something you feel is lacking from your life! Could be a loved one a family member! You feel yourself alone and lost of feeling security in a Foundation you once stand on! Sometimes you fight and Claw your way to try to survive! So very hard! I know I lost two brothers in one year! I miss them so bad long with my mother! Who was my hero!! Believe me i know how Rachel Feels! So keep fighting Rachel and another's! I will try to!je

  • Racheal you are an Amazing Soul inside and out life is really not easy no matter how much we try to prevent something it happens thats how strange life is and its own mystries i just want you to know you are loved and cared for by the father in heaven! No matter what you are going through Jesus is always watching over you and your son. I truly believe no matter how hard the pain and setback in life even though it may be unbearable or sometimes even unforgateable we must just let life flow through the hands of Jesus Christ,He knows what are sorrows and desires are and he Forgives all of us. I truly wish the best for you and your wonderful Family in jesus name !

  • He was, is, and would have been an amazing brother. He loved his sister’s dearly and he loved you dearly and he’s not gone. I assure you he is waiting for the day when his family trickles across the bridge connecting our world to the vast beyond. He still lives on in his legacy left behind. A reminder that he is still in existence and is waiting and watching. I’m sure a lot of people don’t want to talk about him but I know talking about him probably makes you happy knowing he’s not forgotten. If it’s not too much to ask? What was his favourite music? Did he play any instruments?

  • I would envy a rock for the luxury that it has. The impossibility of its pain. I'm sorry for your pain. And I'm sorry for your loss.

  • Such a beautiful soul. I promise you, we all love you, truly and unconditionally.

    Allow yourself to feel.
    Know that you are helping someone everyday. But don’t forget, you’re someone too.

    This doesn’t make you a bad mental health advocate. If anything, being so honest makes you a better mental health advocate; this video resonated with me and I have even more love and respect for you now.

    on a lighter note, you look absolutely gorgeous, as always ❤️

  • I love the impact you have made in so many lives they are communicating with one another and sharing their stories encouraging each other giving hope. That are providing the one element that seems to be lacking in today’s society and that is genuine human honest engaging. Rachel you are singlehandedly transforming the world to a far greater place by leaps and bounds than any therapist, psychologist or any other professional I’ve yet to see. So keep the wort you are a blessing to all who see your clogs. You are to ME.❤️

  • 3 days ago, I showed my 12 yo and 8 yo girls your video about Isiah’s suicide, so your videos are helping others. My Mom had a nervous breakdown about 4 months after, my brother was tragically killed. She got through it.
    You have inspired me to do videos about sharing my High Functioning Depression ups and downs. You look beautiful and NO your not ugly in any shape or form!!! You are an inspiration, and a true advocate and never give up because you are helping lives. 👏🏼💕👏🏼

  • I truly appreciate your videos and the journey you decided to take on. Greetings from Brazil Rachel. I am depressed myself and I have had suicidal thoughts but I have been treating myself and I am truly hopeful. I will keep on watching your videos. Beware you are doing good work, even beyond the USA. Take care…

  • You are always beautiful even though your brain is telling you otherwise.
    Thanks for being vulnerable and brave by sharing and advocacy on behalf of mental illness.

  • Rachel your many many videos have helped so many 🌹 Isaiah would want you to live your life without constantly worrying about what the public thinks.
    I hope you find professional help for yourself and your family 💕 you have said it all ten times , give yourself some privacy and be happy for your family 🙏🏼 we will always be thankful for your time and care . Life is not to pour constantly into the camera. Be well and much love 🙏🏼💕

  • Hi Rachel. I’ve been under the weather for a week. Didn’t see your recent vlog til now. It’s good to see you in better spirits. I know you probably get bombarded with comments all the time. You obviously cannot read them all yourself I understand that. I wanted to mention to you that I sent you a care package to you and your family with some free gifts, An introduction letter and a donation to your foundation for Isaiah. I do hope you received it. I felt compelled to do this form one suffering mother to another. I hope that it doesn’t get lost in the mail anywhere I address ed it the way that I saw the address on comment that someone had made to you asking for the address I know it’s in St. Cloud, Minnesota. These are hand made projects gift that I give and donations that I make for people in my sweet son Timmy‘s name that’s my way of keeping my son’s name alive. I usually done comment on videos, but when I came across yours I had to reach out to you personally. You have impacted my life like no other. I see my life in you. You are a light for so many. Take care God bless you and your beautiful family. Cecelia

  • You're right on point. There was a man I met in AA. He was always smiling, upbeat and kidding around. Then out of the blue, he committed suicide. I never talked to him one on one so I didn't really know him. and what was going on inside him. Then a couple of months later I heard about a man who took his life….. he went to different meetings than me so I never met him. But he was described as being the same way as the first man……always smiling… always asking how others were doing…. everyone who knew him was in shock. Appearances can be very, very deceiving. Red flags are simply invisible. This is why I question carrying around megatons of guilt. Crying is a crucial safety valve. It is beneficial for you. It removes toxins from your body. It is easy to research this on google. Please don't take that the wrong way… I am not trying to downplay your heartache. You ARE a good mental health advocate … even while going through a terrible trauma. A pat on the back….

  • My son committed suicide July 9, 2018 and my life has stopped on the inside. What it appears like on the outside shows nothing that I feel on the inside. Thank you for this video and you look beautiful

  • Hey my friend its goid to see you u look beautiful but more then anything you have beautiful soul and you forever in our prayers do you have an email

  • Don't expect to get better fast, its a long and hard process to adjust to a new reality.And I mean not 1 month or 6 months but maybe even years to accept. I think you want to feel good while you feel bad, its a wrong way because you will keep on struggling with yourself longer than you should.Just admit that you are down and allow all of those feelings to fulfil your body.Only when we allow us to feel them we can slowly accept the reality.If you are afraid to suffer,if you are afraid to face your deepest feelings,just ask for the help.In my opinion you experience kind of freaking out ,its because defense sistems of your mind are breaking.Our mind is protected by defense sistem, it was created to protect us from madness and it helps us to deal with difficult emotions.During mourning this system weakens and does not function as it should due to very strong bad feeling which fulfil us. Doesnt matter is someone is consider strong or not, no one will go trough the mourning indifferently.The best thing right now is to admit that you are weak and you cant handle it, only than you can slowly work with your feelings and emotions with a help of someone who knows the topic.Someone should help you to pass trough this period, showing that beeing weak in a such of period is normal and you don't need to be stong.Your weakness just show how big love you have for your son.Its really normal to feel bad right now.

  • While I am posting something that is not really relevant to the subject matter here, I must say Rachel that you are looking exceptionally beautiful today. You are a very attractive woman, but today you are glowing. I know, it sounds lame but it is so true!

  • Thank you for posting the video. Emotions are complicated. Talking about it helps. Thanks again 🙏

  • I think you said it very well, here.
    something that it is very important to understand, to EVERYONE, medical community, people like you and I.
    Is that depression isn't black and white, and you can't just categorize it with a check list.
    For example everything you have just describe, is the EXACT OPPOSITE of how my depression manifests and I'm sure we both struggle just as much with it.

    some people can't sleep, I sleep 20 hours , some people get anxious about what others think, other's are not even able to try and care, both just as damaging.

    Take care, thanks for opening up. But ye, you are a beautiful woman. Even if you were to stop wearing make up or taking showers.

  • Hi Rachel, another great video!! Keep making them and encouraging people to be the light. Mental illness is a bitch and no one who has it should be alone!! You are breaking the stigma! 💕

  • The contacts really suit you… good choice. Make-up seems a little softer. Yeah…. I think probably the prettiest you've looked so far Rachel. Good vlog. Progress! Please light the candle of hope… and the next time you go to a dark place bring it with you.

  • My reality depends on how much I love and take care of myself. The relationship with yourself is almost the most defining factor of life. Some days I feel really shitty about myself. And everything is going wrong because I'm my own biggest critic. So I'm trying to remove all the fears and doubts and not to lose myself in trying to become someone else, appreciate the things and people I have in life. Just trying to be the best version of myself. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it's not. 
    Nobody is perfect, but everyone is imperfectly perfect and enough. This is the truth we have yet to accept. It takes time. 
    You never know how blessed other people are just by your mere existence.


  • I think its a beautiful thing you're doing that will help a lot of people. By any chance have you looked into microdosing? It might sound crazy at first but there's a lot of science behind it and its the most promising "antidepressant" if you wanna call it that, that's ever been discovered. Just curious if you've heard of it and your thoughts on it, because its helping a lot of people.

  • I have done a video on signs I have of depression and I plan on doing a video of “what depression looks like for me” but depression really looks different for everyone. A family channel I watch the mother in it recently spoke about her post partum depression too and it was very different to my experience. We all NEED to speak about the differences in how it looks for awareness!! I look up to you so much! You are amazing! Xxxx

  • I used to act like you are acting – putting makeup and clothes over a broken soul. That just ended up attracting attention and so I went the opposite way- not showering, forgetting to brush my teeth or pluck my eyebrows. I wanted everyone to leave me alone. Leave me alone they did, and justifiably so. However, what saved the day is realizing that the cover does not matter, and in my case, that self care was a manifestation of my will to not let PTSD and the people that caused it defeat me. I do realize through my own experience that mood disorders have no face. I recently helped out a new coworker that was being horribly bullied by senior staff, encouraging her by giving her tips on how to do the job faster. I did this in front of the bullies and of course, that was me being on team " be the light ". Empathy is normal, bullying is not. The light is normal, the darkness must be seen for what it is and dealt with accordingly. You are beautiful BTW, with or without makeup. Your best accessory is your soul.

  • You are one of the most beautiful, vulnerable, courageous, transparent women in the world. Thank you for being the light for so many.

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